How Middle School Counselors Can Help Families Succeed

Middle school is a time of transformation. Kids are growing up fast, and it can feel like a whirlwind of change for students and families. 

As a middle school counselor, you’re at the center of it all, guiding students and their families through this pivotal time and helping build the skills needed to thrive in high school and beyond. 

With an increased emphasis on college and career readiness at a younger age, middle school counselors may find themselves under additional pressure from schools and parents/guardians to demonstrate that students are on track for college and career. However, being “college ready” and “career ready” is more than just hitting academic benchmarks. The psycho-emotional development of middle school students is just as important for long-term success, and that’s where you come in.

Let’s dive into how you can help students prepare for what’s ahead.

1. Understanding and Navigating Developmental Changes

You see it every year—students come in one way and leave as totally different people. Middle school is a time of rapid cognitive, emotional, and physical changes—not to mention the hormonal orchestra playing in the background—and it can feel like a rollercoaster for everyone involved. Helping students and families understand that these changes are a normal (and temporary) part of growing up can mitigate a lot of concerns. 

Parents/guardians might be alarmed by their teen’s sudden emotional outbursts or surprised when their formerly gregarious child becomes quiet and aloof. While it’s important to ensure there aren’t external stressors causing changes in behavior, you can remind parents/guardians that this is normal for middle schoolers. It doesn’t mean their students are falling behind developmentally and won’t be on track for college and career. On the contrary, this is part of growing up and becoming an independent adult. It can be a contentious time, but showing empathy and understanding throughout can help parents/guardians strengthen their relationship with their children as they move through adolescence to adulthood.

These changes can be jarring for students as well. As a more neutral adult without the expectations of a parent/guardian, you’re in a position to reassure students that what they’re going through is normal, which helps them develop self-awareness and self-acceptance. 

So by helping students navigate these changes and getting families on board, you’re setting students up for personal growth and strengthening family relationships—both of which are important as students move forward into high school, college, and career.

Takeaway for Your Students: It’s totally normal to feel a bit lost or out of place in middle school! Figuring out how to handle these changes with kindness toward yourself can help you grow into a confident and self-aware person, which will set you up for success in high school, college, and beyond.

Takeaway for Parents/Guardians: Showing understanding and sympathy through the ups and downs of middle school will help you build a strong, lasting bond with your child. When they step out into the world to tackle the challenges of college and career, they’ll know they have a solid support system behind them.

2. Fostering Executive Functioning and Social-Emotional Growth (Along with Academics)

We all know academic success isn’t the only factor in college and career readiness. Skills like time management, organization, and emotional regulation are just as important. And, of course, social-emotional development helps students navigate friendships, peer pressure, and motivation. But here’s the thing—these skills don’t develop at the same pace for every student.

Students are all on their own developmental timelines. Some may excel at staying organized but struggle with emotional regulation, while others might have strong emotional awareness but need help managing their time. As counselors, it’s important to understand where each student is in their development and meet them there. When you tailor your support to each student’s needs, you’re helping them grow at their own pace.

These skills are necessary for even the most academically talented students to meet their full potential. Strong executive functioning skills like time management and organization help students stay on top of assignments, study more effectively, and manage their workload. Similarly, social-emotional skills like self-regulation and emotional awareness enable students to stay calm under pressure, handle stress, and maintain focus in the classroom. 

By focusing on executive functioning and social-emotional growth, you’re not just helping students get through the middle school day, you’re giving them the tools they need for long-term success. Whether it’s learning to prioritize homework or developing emotional resilience, these skills will support their academic performance and help them cope with the challenges of high school, college, and the workforce. 

Takeaway for Your Students: Yes, schoolwork matters, but so do skills like staying organized, managing your time, and building friendships. All of these skills help you succeed as you head to high school and college, and as you start your career.

Takeaway for Parents/Guardians: Talk to your middle schooler’s teachers about your student’s executive functioning and social-emotional skills. Ask how you can support their growth in these areas at home, as these skills are essential for academic success, as well as college and career readiness.

3. Teaching Digital Citizenship and Online Safety

Today’s students have grown up in a digital world, and tech skills have become an essential part of college and career readiness. However, kids still need guidance on how to use technology productively, ethically, and safely. There’s a place for social media, online gaming, and AI tools, but there’s also a real risk of misuse—whether it’s over-relying on AI for schoolwork, getting caught up in endless doom scrolling, or even developing unhealthy habits around screen time. There are also real safety concerns for children online, and counselors and families must be aware of dangers like online bullies and online predators.

By discussing digital citizenship with students and their families, you can help students develop the technological skills they’ll need while establishing healthy and safe habits. Encouraging moderation and setting boundaries around tech use will keep them from falling into traps like procrastination and social media addiction or from letting digital distractions affect their schoolwork and well-being. Learning how to navigate the digital world responsibly now sets them up for success later—both academically and in their future careers.

Tip for Students: Learning to use tech safely and in healthy ways now will really help you when you’re in college or starting your career.

Tip for Parents/Guardians: Keep an eye on your child’s online activity, and create a safe space for open discussions about healthy tech habits and online safety. This helps them build the tech skills they need for college and career while navigating the digital world responsibly.

4. Encouraging Real-World Engagement Beyond the Screen

As you teach students about digital citizenship and responsible tech use, it’s important to remind them to step away from the screen and engage in the real world. Non-digital activities, such as athletics, performing arts, clubs, and hobbies, help develop teamwork, leadership, and problem-solving skills, which will serve them well in high school, college, and beyond. Extracurricular activities also give students a leg up on their college applications by helping them demonstrate their well-roundedness, commitment, and ability to contribute to a community.

Exploring new interests and discovering what they enjoy (and don’t enjoy) helps middle schoolers shape their sense of identity. A well-rounded set of interests also helps them manage stress and maintain balance, a necessity when they’re handling the demands of school or work. Plus, real-world engagement helps foster a sense of community, as students build meaningful connections with others outside the digital space. Even simply spending time with friends supports their social-emotional development and helps them build meaningful connections outside of the digital space. 

But it’s not just about the students—getting families on board with this plan is key. Encouraging their kids to unplug and engage with the real world outside of school reinforces the habits you’re trying to instill during the school day. Together, you can help students develop a healthy balance between their online and offline lives.

Tip for Students: Getting involved in activities like sports, the arts, or other hobbies is fun, and it can also help you build teamwork and leadership skills that will be helpful in high school, college, and career.

Tip for Parents/Guardians: Encourage your child to take breaks from screens by engaging in at least one hands-on activity every day. Real-world activities, whether sports, arts, or hobbies, build valuable skills and will ultimately help round out your child’s college application.

5. Empowering Students to Take Control of Their Own Growth

Middle schoolers are starting to figure out who they want to be. One of the most powerful things middle school counselors can do is give students a voice in their own development, such as letting them choose electives, extracurricular activities, or clubs that interest them. Encouraging students to explore their individual strengths and weaknesses helps them understand themselves better and plays a key role in shaping their identity. When students have some agency over their academic and personal growth, they learn how to set goals, reflect on their progress, and advocate for themselves. 

Counselors can help families recognize and embrace this shift toward independence. Yes, their students are still kids who need guidance, but they are on the path to becoming an adults. Giving them a voice helps develop confidence and self-reliance, which will help them grow towards college and career readiness.

By recognizing and supporting their growing independence, you’re empowering students to take control of their future. You’re not just preparing them for high school—you’re setting them up for lifelong success!

Tip for Students: This is your journey, and you’re in charge! Think about what you want to do, set some goals, and learn to speak up for yourself. Making small choices now (like picking an elective or joining a club) can help you start building independence and skills to guide you through college and your career path.

Tip for Parents/Guardians: Help foster independence by showing you value your middle schooler’s opinions. While they still need your guidance, give them a say in certain decisions, like which elective to take. This approach empowers them and strengthens their decision-making skills as they prepare for high school and beyond.

Looking for more ways to support your students in their college and career readiness journeys? Scoir has great tools for both middle and high school counselors. 

• Career Readiness for Middle Schools
• Career Readiness for High Schools
• SEL Certification for Counselors

Scoir and Test Innovators are here to support you. Learn more about Scoir’s partnership with Test Innovators.

This blog post was provided by Test Innovators, our test prep partner. You can learn more about Test Innovators on our partners page.